Self Brilliance Leadership Article
FirefliesDuring the first three chapters see if you can find the common thread which I will reveal in chapter 4.
Chapter 1 - Catching Fireflies
I rocked on my front porch during my favorite time of day. It was the time between the sun setting and the last light slipping from the sky.
The trees jettison water from the leaves. Water they have been storing all day to reduce the stress from the hot sun. It makes the air damp and cool. It's my favorite time of the day.
The lighting bugs start their dance. Random beams flicker in the dimming daylight. Memories return of running around the yard with an empty Miracle Whip jar, catching as many fireflies as I could. Shaking my catch, I would marvel at their thoraxes shining with magical light. I was tired from running but delighted with my results.
As an adult I discovered the lighting bug's code. The males fly and the females sit in the trees signaling back. Two seconds after the male flashes, the female will flash. With a penlight I sit on my porch. I flick it on two seconds after the male signals. Quickly the fireflies come to me.
Chapter 2 - Dawn's Early Light
The end of my Outward Bound School experience was closing in. I chose this experience to learn more about myself and how to work more effectively with people. For 23 days we walked across mountains, ran the whitewater rivers, climbed the rock face, and spent three days by ourselves. Our final challenge was an expedition which carried us across Grandfather Mountain by Chestnut Mountain and ending near Table Rock. It was just our crew without the aid of the school's crew leaders.
It accomplish our mission, we had a long walk each day. It required us to maximize the daylight hours. Waking at dawn's early light was our goal. No watches, alarm clocks, or wake up calls - how could we do it?
During our previous days in the woods, we learned to listen. We heard the subtle changes. The tree frogs serenaded us at night and the crickets sang during the day. At dawn's early light the frogs gave way to the cricket's singing. We had learned to tune our bodies to wake up when the noise changed. Many times we beat the sun out of bed.
With an early start each day and perseverance we reached our goal on time.
Chapter 3 - Missed Opportunity
I was flying out of Washington DC, going home. Approaching the gate I heard a loud conversation between an airline representative and a passenger. "We told you three times!" "You never told me!"
A passenger was on her way to Orlando. When her plane stopped at Washington, she picked up her bags and departed. The plane was gone from its stop over when she realized where she was and returned to the gate. The plane and her friends were gone.
She and the airline representative were in a heated argument. She insisted they never announced they were in Washington, DC. He stood firm and told her they did.
My fellow passengers found out she was joining our airplane. We tried to become invisible behind the books and magazines we were pretending to read.
I was grateful to be ticketed in the back of the plane. She complained the entire flight to everyone in the front.
Chapter 4 - Pieces Put Together
In life we will have moments of mis-communication with people. We become tangled in confusion or misunderstandings. Two keys can help you unravel your miscommunications.
Listen and understand the other person's point of view first. As we learned to listen to the outdoor creatures in chapter two, work to understand the other person's point of view. Restate what you heard so they can verify your interpretation.
The second key is to talk in their language. I no longer run to catch fireflies. I studied them to learn how they talked. Fireflies come to me. Change how you speak or what you say so you're speaking in the other person's language.
Chapter three is an example where neither party listened or tried to talk so they could be understood. They were both angry and unsatisfied.
Epilogue
It's a fact. We will always have communications that become tangled with misunderstandings. Use the two simple keys: understand their point of view first and talk in their language.
You will loosen the communication knots. Who knows, you might catch a few fireflies along the way too!
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